Grief, Emotions, and the Season of Autumn

Earlier this year, I lost my mother. Although she was of old age, her passing still came as a shock. I’ve come to realize that grief isn’t linear. It rises and falls in waves, and we move through it in our own time.

Honoring Loss Through the Wisdom of the Body

Among all emotions, grief holds a special place in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). It is tied to the Lungs, the Metal element, and Autumn, a season of release, reflection, and transformation. In TCM, emotions like joy, worry, fear, anger, and grief are not seen as disorders to suppress or overcome. Instead, they are understood as natural forces of energy — expressions that shape our health and connect us to the cycles of nature. When emotions flow freely, they help keep us balanced in mind, body, and spirit.

Each organ resonates with a primary emotion:

Heart → Joy
Spleen → Worry
Lungs → Grief
Kidneys → Fear
Liver → Anger

The Lungs are responsible for breathing and the circulation of Qi (our vital energy) to support immune defenses and govern the skin and personal boundaries. Importantly, they also give us the ability to release and let go. When grief is prolonged or suppressed, Lung Qi may weaken or stagnate. Signs can include:

• Shallow breathing or frequent sighing
• Tightness in the chest or throat
• Fatigue and low immunity
• Sadness, apathy, or emotional numbness
• Dry skin or breakouts

Grief is understood as a natural process of release. Just as autumn leaves fall to nourish the soil, grieving allows us to let go and create space for renewal. Healthy grief is expressed and honored. When it is suppressed or becomes chronic, it may stagnate which not only affects the Lungs but also the Large Intestine, the Lung’s paired organ, which governs both physical and emotional release.

In the TCM view, grief is not something to “fix.” It is a passage to be honored — an invitation to let go with grace, much like autumn’s falling leaves. By supporting the Lungs, nourishing the body, and giving emotions space to move, we allow grief to teach us resilience, compassion, and renewal.

Supporting Grief with
TCM wisdom

1. Breathe & Move Qi
   Breathwork & movement open the chest and circulate energy. Try:

   • Box breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4

   • Two sharp inhales followed by a long exhale to clear heaviness

   • Gentle practices: qigong, tai chi, mindful walking

   • Breath-based meditation to steady the mind and restore flow

2. Acupuncture and Meridian Support
   Acupuncture points along the Lung meridian help regulate emotions and ease chest tightness. A licensed acupuncturist can design a plan tailored to your needs.

3. Herbal Allies
   Traditional herbs can gently support grief:

   • Bai He (Lily Bulb): moisten Lungs, calm the spirit

   • Suan Zao Ren (Ziziphus Seed): quiet the mind, improve sleep

   • Mai Men Dong: nourish yin, replenish after crying

   (Always consult a qualified herbalist before beginning herbal remedies.)

4. Nourish with Food
   The Lung system thrives on warm, moistening foods:

   • Pears, almonds, white mushrooms, tofu, daikon, congee

   • Avoid overly cold, dry, or processed foods

   • Sip soothing teas like chrysanthemum-goji or licorice-mint

5. Honor Emotional Expression
   Grief asks to be felt. Expression can take many forms:

   • Journal, write, reflect

   • Rituals: light a candle, write a letter, go on a hike

   • Sing: expand the chest, move Lung Qi, allowing emotions to flow

In the TCM view, grief is not something to “fix.” It is a passage to be honored—an invitation to let go with grace, much like autumn’s falling leaves. By supporting the Lungs, nourishing the body, and giving emotions space to move, we allow grief to teach us resilience, compassion, and renewal.